13 July 2010
Timshel.
11:59 PM | Signed
Kelsea D |
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Thou mayest.
We all have a choice in life. I have a choice.
I. Have. A. Choice.
From the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 5, I believe), John Steinbeck created a monster of a fable in East of Eden. I loved every word of every single one of those six hundred and five pages.
But let's talk about God. God and Steinbeck, and how I have one and not the other. I feel Steinbeck, right here next to me, a separate character as I read through his works (I just devoured Of Mice and Men, waiting for Travels with Charly). But God, really, has been reduced to a character in a cardboard kid's book. But for one brief second, I got the old feeling back, the feeling I had last summer at church camp, that God is here. It was while reading East of Eden, when Lee and Samuel and Adam are discussing the naming of Adam's twin sons. They read Cain and Able aloud, and Lee brings up timshel. Cain gets thrown into the wilderness, and told "Though mayest conquer over sin." Not "You have to," or "You better," but, "You can, or you cannot. Your choice."
Rejuvenation, I suppose, is what I felt on reading Steinbeck's words. Gone was the mold to fit, the omniscient road map. For one moment I knew definitively that ultimately, I had control over my life, rather than it being predestined. I am not saying that I believe in predestination, just that I didn't ever care to think about what was what in that area.
But still, I continue to be disturbed at the way that I see God and particularly Jesus as fictional. As kiddie stuff. The Gospel of John and Slaughterhouse-Five constitute my new reading material. I can't help but ask myself if I am looking for God, or for humanity...
I confuse myself. For now, I choose the NKJV, and I will leave it at that.
We all have a choice in life. I have a choice.
I. Have. A. Choice.
From the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 5, I believe), John Steinbeck created a monster of a fable in East of Eden. I loved every word of every single one of those six hundred and five pages.
But let's talk about God. God and Steinbeck, and how I have one and not the other. I feel Steinbeck, right here next to me, a separate character as I read through his works (I just devoured Of Mice and Men, waiting for Travels with Charly). But God, really, has been reduced to a character in a cardboard kid's book. But for one brief second, I got the old feeling back, the feeling I had last summer at church camp, that God is here. It was while reading East of Eden, when Lee and Samuel and Adam are discussing the naming of Adam's twin sons. They read Cain and Able aloud, and Lee brings up timshel. Cain gets thrown into the wilderness, and told "Though mayest conquer over sin." Not "You have to," or "You better," but, "You can, or you cannot. Your choice."
Rejuvenation, I suppose, is what I felt on reading Steinbeck's words. Gone was the mold to fit, the omniscient road map. For one moment I knew definitively that ultimately, I had control over my life, rather than it being predestined. I am not saying that I believe in predestination, just that I didn't ever care to think about what was what in that area.
But still, I continue to be disturbed at the way that I see God and particularly Jesus as fictional. As kiddie stuff. The Gospel of John and Slaughterhouse-Five constitute my new reading material. I can't help but ask myself if I am looking for God, or for humanity...
I confuse myself. For now, I choose the NKJV, and I will leave it at that.
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